One of Nickelodeon’s brightest stars of the 2010s was Jennette McCurdy, who played stubborn prankster Sam Puckett for six seasons iCarly before the colead Sam & Cat, a supporting role Ariana Grande that only lasted a single season. In her debut memoir I’m glad my mother died—out August 9—McCurdy sheds the candy-coated facade of her sitcom experiences, which were often dictated by an allegedly abusive boss she refers to only as “The Creator,” and speaks openly about her eating disorder and troubled relationship with her mother .
In this excerpt from her memoir, McCurdy describes the inappropriate behavior she alleges exhibited by The Creator, including pressuring her while she was a minor; massage her at work; and $300,000 from offers Nickelodeon to keep everything quiet. (Vanity Fair reached out to the network for comment.)
“Come have a sip.”
“No thank you.”
“I have never drunk alcohol. And I’m only eighteen. Couldn’t I get in trouble?”
“Nobody’s looking, Jennetter. You’re okay.”
“I do not know.”
“That victorious Kids get drunk together all the time. That iCarly kids are so healthy. We need to give you a little advantage.”
The Creator is always comparing us iCarly kids for the kids on his other hit show, victorious. I think he thinks we’ll try harder.
“I don’t know if it’s drinking that gives a person an advantage.”
I look at the Creator’s drink. He picks it up and throws it around.
It’s a kind of whiskey mixed with coffee and cream. I like coffee. “One sip.”
The creator hands me his glass and I take a sip. I hate it.
“It is great.”
“Do not lie to me. I don’t like it when you lie to me.”
“I hate it.”
“That’s better Jennetter.”
The creator laughs. I did well I liked him. Mission accomplished. It’s the same mission I have every time I have dinner with him, which has become more and more frequent lately as my new contract for the spin-off he promised me is being drafted. The creator does what I’ve heard from my co-stars that he does with every new star of a show he makes – he takes you under his wing. you are his favorite For now. I like being his favorite at the moment. I feel like I’m doing something right.
“So excited to have your own show?” the creator asks.
“Sure? Is that it?”
“No, of course I’m excited. I’m so excited.”
“Fine. Because I could give anyone a new show, you know. But I didn’t choose anyone. I choose you.”
“Don’t thank me, I chose you because you’re talented.”
I’m confused. He just said he could choose anyone which didn’t make me feel special and now he says he chose me because I was talented which makes me feel special again. This kind of confusion is normal around him. I take a sip of water while contemplating what to say next. Luckily I don’t have to.
“How did you like the steak?”
“It was good.”
It was really awful. Well, great and terrible. Great in terms of taste, terrible in terms of how much I’ll fixate on it for the rest of the night. I ate too much of it and too many hash browns and too many Brussels sprouts and a bun and glazed carrots. I couldn’t hold back. I ate everything. i feel so full I am disgusted with myself.