How to pretend you’ve read the book club book

Hello friends!!!! (Follow me.) Can’t wait to discuss this month’s book club book! The reason for the season, what brings us together today (voice of the princess bride). You know, before we start, I just want to say how much it means to me that literature brings us all together each month. I mean, not only do we have the privilege of reading a book with our friends, but it also gives us a reason to get together and drink wine. Hey! Who brought the wine this week? I’ll take some. Before we start, who can I pour for? (You may or may not spill.) Now that we’ve all got some wine – sorry again, Mabel, for the spillage!!! butter fingers!!! I would like to offer a toast. Here’s a toast to this amazing book. I won’t say whether I liked it or not yet — save it for discussion, but I just want to take a moment to acknowledge the author’s hard work and the wonder of the printing, bookbinding, shipping, and distribution. We don’t often talk about these aspects of the book, but they’re always present, aren’t they? What an amazing thing. OK, cheers.

Now back to the business of bookbinding. What did everyone think of the graduation papers? I know this is a bit silly, but they really add to the sensory experience for me. I could really SEE the map, I could really IMAGINE the journey. And how about this font? Decent distance too. I like a bit of white space on the page. Hats off to the typesetter! Those little white spaces really give you a moment to think, even if you’re not fully aware of it.

I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention the cover design. It’s not every day that you get a cover designed with amorphous colorful blobs roughly shaped like a… uterus? No? did you see a goat? I guess it’s really a Rorschach effect, isn’t it? Anyway I liked it. anyone else? No? Oh you thought it didn’t do justice to the topic? Hmm…I guess I could see that…the subject was pretty…morphic after all.

Anyway, don’t make me steal all the airtime!!!! What did others think? What burning questions do others have???

(Listen very, very carefully.)

Oh I? Hmmm, I mean, aren’t you all a little tired of hearing from me? (You should have tired her of hearing from you as soon as possible.) I mean, let someone else get the mic, right? No, still me? Okay hmm…what did I think of the symbolism of the bird eating the apple in the penultimate paragraph and how do I think it related to the overall theme and Gemma’s untimely demise? Hm… I mean, first off, it’s a great insightful question. I can’t say I overwhelmed that exactly, but let’s see. I found it very interesting, very interesting, that the bird eats the apple. Especially considering Gemma’s untimely demise. (Repeat as much of the question as you can. Use the word “interesting” with reckless abandon.) I’m not sure what I thought about this, and honestly I thought it would be an interesting way to delve into the subject connect to. I mean don’t you? Do you think it was interesting? You might even say unexpected? Or sure, totally expected, all things considered, but it’s not every day you see a bird eating an apple. Oh right, I mean, sure, we’ve seen it multiple times throughout the book, but I don’t see it on the streets of Brooklyn every day, let me tell you!

What did I think of the trapeze artist who landed on and killed the apple-eating bird in part two? I found it really very interesting. Interesting how the apple and bird appear around violence. What do others think about it? Birds are usually symbols of freedom (try using your literary background) and apples should symbolize health and well-being, right?

have i read the book Of course I have. Didn’t you hear what I said at the beginning about hashtag gratitude, that we can all use our shared love of literature to bond and drink? There was no trapeze artist? Hmm, that’s really quite strange. Maybe I’m confusing this book with another book I’ve read recently. I read so often who can keep up!!!!!!! Yes, I understand that is the purpose of a book club. Maybe I had a misprint in my book about the trapeze artist? Damn it, bookbinder!!! How could that happen?

Anyway, let’s not get into anyone’s mistakes. Who needs more wine? Mabel?

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